Over the past 6 months, it seems I’m doing a lot of thinking (and writing) about where my life is going; I’ve questioned what role I am fulfilling in my day to day life, what role I want to fill, what makes me happy, how I can help others, and logistically, how I can meet my needs and those of my loved ones in a responsible way. Believe me, asking myself these kinds of questions and searching for the answers to them is not exactly easy. What I have learned, though, is that my roles as both mother and wife are priorities in my life; the work that I do and the passions I pursue, should, ideally, enrich my mothering and build my life with my husband. Fortunately, at this time in my life, our family is able for me to approach life with this outlook; because my husband earns enough to support our family, any income I earn supplements what our family can do, as well as allows me to pursue my passions: like blogging and writing and photography.
Because my passions for blogging/writing and photography enrich my life, I believe that I am a more capable and enthusiastic mother. I have talked with so many mothers, both working (either full time or part-time) and at home, about how they maintain a personal balance: how to meet the challenges of day to day mothering and work and still find the energy to take good care of themselves. Each woman seems to have her own answer; some say they scrapbook, practice yoga, pursue a creative hobby (like photography or design), exercise, or volunteer. Currently, I try to meet my personal needs by exercising daily (with a 10 minute yoga practice), taking mommy time-outs (literally telling my 3 year old, when a situation is overwhelming me, that I am putting myself into a T-O), getting haircuts (and the occasional facial or massage . . . two luxuries that I have only recently discovered), meeting with friends, volunteering as an AP support group leader and going on monthly dates with my husband. Of course, taking daily photos or learning something photography related, as well as writing and blogging, help me keep a positive, flexible outlook. I admit: once upon a time (as a fresh M.A. graduate who was opting out of the traditional academic path so that I could be a stay at home mom), I worried that my mind would turn into “goo.” Since learning brings me so much joy, I remember thinking that I needed to keep reading: so I read everything and anything that I could about parenting. Eventually, I found a genre of parenting books that resonated with how I wanted to parent (attachment or gentle parenting related). My list of parenting books grew and grew. When I applied to be a support group leader for Attachment Parenting International, I delved deeper still into gentle parenting literature.
The more I read and thought about being a good parent, the more I began to think about the world my daughter was living in. I’ve mentioned this time and time again on my blog: my care for the environment began with my love and care for my daughter. Again, I read whatever I could get my hands on that dealt with the environment, as well as lifestyle changes I could make to be a better caretaker (of it). Among the many wonderful blogs listed on my “Community” page are those that deal almost entirely with the environment. I read these blogs weekly. They never fail to inspire me and challenge me.
So, as my passion for photography evolves, I again find myself hungry for books. This time I reading anything and everything dealing with photography, digital photography, and photographers. They are so many subtopics to explore and I am only just beginning my journey as a student of photography: this both excites and overwhelms me.
I put together a reading page to share with you. Topics include: parenting, photography, and environmentalism. I’ve only started listing the books I have read, and I am looking for more title suggestions. Will you help me grow my reading list? Areas where I could expand my horizons a bit more include both the environment and photography. I’d love to hear suggestions!
Last, regarding the former topic in this post, first, do you think that you take good care of yourself? In what ways do you make time to nurture the person you are? Last, do you think that taking good care of ourselves helps us to be better mothers/workers/citizens? I’d love to hear your thoughts.
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I think that I am currently on the verge the brain goo stage. The hours of research I used to spend buried in books has stalled and I’m trying to restart my learning. I haven’t really figured out how to manage my time so that I get to do the scrapbooking/sewing that I love to. Thankfully, my love of cooking feeds the family, so I still get to have time for that. Even with the best of intentions, my blogging/journaling has really suffered. I find that I work from the moment I open my eyes until I close them again. My husband is always telling me to take time and relax, but I can’t until all the work is done.
I work 2 days a week as an education director for a supplementary learning center. It used to be my escape, but of late, it’s been a real burden to go. I find myself getting angry with the parents who feel that I should be able to magically cure their child’s problem without them lifting a finger. However, I have learned what not to do and have been inspired to look into different methods of education for future use (sending our kids to the local schools is out of the question as their state is the reason why I still have a job!). So the texts on Reggio and Waldorf are finding their way around town with me in my giant purse… just in case I have a moment to sneak a peek!
Oh, I can soooo relate to this post! I love, love, LOVE learning, and I also had the fear that once I became a stay-at-home-mom my brain would turn to goo. Thankfully, that has not been the case. Thanks so much for sharing your reading list! We share many of the same interests!
i love how you are embracing learning the art of photography. as always, it is inspirational. i am always tremendously impressed by your drive. honestly.
i added a few books on your book post!
I added some of my favourite books on your reading page. :)
As for taking care of myself, I think that I’m OK. I don’t get as much time to myself as I would like, and my projects take far longer. But I do get a fair bit of reading and writing time in. I think that having something of my own, some project that doesn’t revolve around my husband and my kids makes me a better wife and mother. Of course, they’re my first priority, but they don’t benefit if they’re my ONLY priority, much as my 5-year-old may beg to differ.
I’m going to take care of myself by leaving work early. I had planned to work until March 5 (next Friday), just a few days before my due date. Now, I’m too beat to work, I no longer care about the day-to-day aspects of work (I don’t care if a kid did his homework, I’m having a BABY!) and I’m ready to quit. I’ve decided that this Friday will be my last day, and I couldn’t be happier to start my maternity leave a little early. I’ll be able to take care of myself and be ready, instead of exhausted, when I go into labor.
I LOVED How to Talk so Kids will Listen and Raising an Amazing Child. They are the books I always recommend and find I keep going back to.
As far as photography, I am working my way through Understanding Exposure: How to Shoot Great Photographs with a Film or Digital Camera by Bryan Peterson and it’s really good.
And I’m still working on finding my balace. I do love taking pictures and blogging, and my husband and I try to go on dates at least twice a month, but I would love to start working out. I really need to make it a priority. Great post!
I love reading your blog posts!
I’ve been enjoying the time at the gym, just me, by myself, moving, and then the shower afterwards *by myself!!!*. If the camera has been put down for too long, I make sure to pick it up, inspired or not. Having that creative outlet is important to me. While I love being a mother and a wife, I find that I get burnt out when I am tending to the needs of others 100% of the time, and I need the breathers that I can get.